Are you a doctor?

I nearly said that to an elderly woman today. An elderly woman who spotted my wrapped wrist today, and decided to tell me how to fix it.

Points of interest: she misheard my explanation of what was wrong. She suggested how long it would take to heal (wrongly). She tried to convince me in the effectiveness of telepathy (whaaaat??) in curing such things, and to listen to my wrist is "telling me what it needs", such as massaging. All of this while I continued to tell her I was seeing a specialist and it was being taken care of.

The worst part? I was at work. So while every fibre of my being wanted to scream at her to shut up, I had to settle for short, clipped responses that I had it sorted. She must have eventually got the message, because her expression changed rapidly just before she left. And I spent the next hour fuming.

Seriously? If you're not a doctor, don't try to treat people's medical problems!!!

End of rant.

Gillmans verdict: avoid!

A copy/paste of a review I have now left for Gillmans Domestic Appliances:

We called to ask about a dual fuel cooker to replace our electric cooker. We explained that we had a gas pipe, but had never used it, so had no idea if it worked. We explained our concerns to the person we spoke to, and he said this would be covered within the survey they offer, explaining it would check if the pipe worked or not, amongst other things. We bought the cooker on that basis. The man came to do the survey, said everything was fine, and left.

Two weeks later, our new cooker was delivered and our old one taken away. A few hours after that, someone came out to do the installation - only to tell us the gas pipe didn't work, and he couldn't install the cooker. Naturally, we were very upset, and called them straight away.

The person we spoke to this time not only insisted that the survey does not check if the pipes are working, but also gave every impression that he believed us to be lying when we told him we were promised it would. We told them time and time again that we would never have bought the cooker in the first place if we hadn't been guaranteed they would check the pipe worked, but everything we said fell on deaf ears. Gillmans gave no impression that they cared at all, nor did they do anything to help sort the problem. There was not even an offer of helping us find someone to get the pipe checked and fixed.

At the end of the day, we were forced to have our old cooker brought back and reconnected due to being promised something they weren't prepared to do. We're very unhappy, and will not be looking to Gillmans for anything in future.

That sums up the first horribleness of the day. The second horribleness? That comes in when I try to sort out how to get our gas pipe working. You see, we live in a council house, so naturally the first people I call are the gas engineers that are associated with our council landlord.

They tell me they have no problem sorting the gas pipe - but that they need explicit permission from the landlord before they can do anything. So I call the landlord, who responds by telling me "they don't do that". They refuse to give permission for the work to be done because it's apparently not their responsibility. I called the gas engineers back, demanding to know why they directed me to the landlord who insists it has nothing to do with them. Without even addressing the fact that they clearly were giving me the wrong information, they told me I would have to have the work privately done, and they wouldn't do it at all.

All of this has led me to two conclusions: one, when someone tells you something is going to be taken care of on the phone, get that person's name and some kind of proof that they did actually give you that information. Two, the council housing society is useless, and the list of things they clearly are not willing to take responsibility for in their own properties is growing by the minute.

Family stuff

I have a kid. Most of the time, he's lovely. He is usually well-mannered, cheerful, and willing to help out. He's clever and quick, and while he occasionally has issues listening, he is, for the most part, a real good kid.

Except when he goes to school. I have my suspicions why, but all I know for certain is the day he goes back to school is the day his behaviour takes a nosedive. And today we are having to deal with the consequences of that, which is why this post is so short. See you all tomorrow, hopefully with something more interesting to say.

I didn't vote.

There, I've said it publicly, where people can see it. May all the omg-nothing-is-more-important-than-politics people come and flame me if they want, but it changes nothing: I did not vote in the US presidential election. Not because I wasn't able to, but because I deliberately chose not to.

Here's the thing. I am, technically, still an American citizen. However, I have been living comfortably (and legally) in the UK for many years now, and have no intention to leave. I am far happier here than I ever was in the States. England is now my home, and I consider the US to be kind of like an old house: it was nice while we were living there, but we've moved on, and don't want to move back into it.

So why would I vote in the presidential election? I know what a lot of Americans would say: it's your duty / right / privilege / insert other somewhat impressive word here. You also get those that say if you don't vote, you're being unpatriotic, disrespectful, an idiot, and so on. To some people, not voting is akin to betraying your country. Even when I lived there, and didn't want to vote because I didn't think I was informed enough to make a sensible choice (and didn't really agree with either candidate), I was pushed into it because certain people refused to stop harassing me until it was done.

I chose not to vote for a pretty simple reason. Ready for my logic?

I don't live there.

Before anybody starts with me about postal voting and how it's perfectly acceptable to vote from outside the country, please remember what I said earlier: the US is no longer my home, nor do I ever intend to return to it. Truth be told, the matters of policy that are being hoisted as the all-important issues in this election have absolutely no immediate effect on me. There is very little they can do at this point that will have any kind of impact on my life in the UK. It's my personal opinion that they are going to spend the next few years focusing on the people who still live there, rather than those that have already left.

When one considers this point, it then becomes a matter of whether it feels right to vote. If I'm not living there, and the matters prevalent in the choice are not going to directly affect me for quite a long time, is it really fair of me to put in an opinion? Isn't that basically trying to influence how other people are going to live their lives for the next four years? It would feel like being a hypocrite. I wouldn't tell people face to face how I expect them to live, why would I do so with a vote?

At the last election, when Obama was first elected, I was asked constantly by people in the UK - primarily complete strangers who only knew enough about me to know I was American - if I voted. (Some people were even bold enough to simply ask who I voted for.) Every single one of them was shocked, if not horrified, when I told them I hadn't voted. Even when I tried to explain the above reasoning, I was met with an awful lot of raised eyebrows and hasty subject changes. No one wanted to hear it, because even in this country, it seems impossible to imagine an American not putting their life on hold in order to get their vote counted.

This year, thankfully, I have not been quizzed by everyone who crosses my path about American politics and votes. However, I HAVE seen the resurgence of those people who assume that people who don't vote are automatically terrible people. I have seen those comments about, "If you don't vote, you're an idiot / you don't matter / you don't deserve to live / insert insult here." **

There are a lot of reasons people may not vote. Some of them are poor, but some of them are good, substantial, understandable reasons. My post describes only one situation where not voting is, in my opinion, completely acceptable. I know there are a lot of people who will disagree with me. I know there are a lot of people who will continue to believe there is never ever a good reason for not voting. I don't really care. The whole point of having an election is to give people the chance to make a choice. This was mine.


** These are not made up for this post, but have actually been publicly said on various social networks. I have actually seen someone (not in reference to this election, but to a previous one) spout the nonsense about people who don't vote not deserving to be alive. The fact that anybody can think that way, and be that extreme, horrifies and saddens me.

Are you still playing Diablo 3?

A lot of people have been asking this question. Diablo 3 was meant to be Blizzard's big smash of a game for this year, the third instalment of an incredibly successful series. It was meant to be a game that would be constantly replayable, and have people happily prowling its dungeons for years. And yet, it's becoming more and more obvious that, somewhere along the ten year development road, Blizzard messed up. The number of people still playing Diablo 3 is nowhere near the number of sales it had, and I think I can pick out at least a few reasons why.

Number one: no offline mode. I mentioned this in my previous Diablo post, about how you must be online to play the game at all, no other option. I was not the only one irritated by this. A lot of other people complained, and it proved to be a huge downfall for both Blizzard and the players (particularly as being required to be online to play was not advertised before hand, as far as I'm aware). I think I know why they've done it this way - to facilitate the Auction House - but it sure sucks. My opinion? You should have been able to play offline whenever you like, but the moment you try to connect to the Auction House to buy / sell things, THEN require the internet to upload your character info to their servers. Would that have been so difficult? Really?

Number two: difficulty. The difference in difficulty between normal mode and nightmare is apparently incredibly vast. A lot of cynics out there think the reason for this is to encourage people to spend money in the Auction House for better gear. I, unfortunately, also believe this. There is absolutely no reason to make a portion of the game so difficult that any equipment you find in that section is too weak for you to survive through it, unless you intend to make money off of people by making them buy better gear with real money. If this was not the intention, why not make the difficulty of the levels in line with the gear you get from those same levels? I've not yet gotten past normal mode, but already I'm dreading it.

Number three: the patches. The focus of this game used to be on finding the coolest items you can. That was always the joy I had, in finding something unique, or the last piece of that armour set, or a weapon that makes all the enemies turn into blood splatters the minute you walk into the dungeon. However, there have been patches to this game that have, effectively, pushed the game away from that idea. Patch 1.0.3 is the worst offender. A great deal of the numbers that handled when, what kind, and how much loot is dropped have been reduced, making it far more difficult to acquire items of worth unless you spend hours and hours of time in the hope of picking up ONE good weapon or armour piece. In addition, things in the game environment which used to drop items (such as barrels and other destructible objects) no longer drop them at all, and in fact will rarely even drop gold. The direct result of this? I no longer bother to destroy the hundreds of barrels / urns / various other destructible things in the environment. I walk right past them, because I know there's nothing of value in them. They have effectively become unnecessary clutter. And why has that been done, one might ask? Give you one guess.

I can't help but notice a theme here. Every problem I have with this game so far has been directly connected to Blizzard's insistence on including that bloody Auction House. It feels like they are sacrificing good game content in the hopes of scraping money out of the bottom of their players' barrels. Oh wait, except barrels don't have anything in them any more, do they?

So here's my plan. I'm going to continue to play my current character until I finish the normal difficulty. (We won't even get into the long rant about how I had to scratch my level 36 monk and start over because they also killed attack speed by 50% in a single patch, and my monk could no longer hit things fast enough to kill them before being killed herself.) Once I've beaten the game on normal, it's going to get put away. I refuse to spend my money in the Auction House. I refuse to so much as look at it, because I see it as a waste of time, money, and resources. Perhaps I'm being stubborn here. Or perhaps Blizzard will realise how badly they messed up when their players get tired of everything they loved about this series being stripped away.

Dear Wisdom Tooth...

For the last twenty odd years of my life, I've had the teeth I needed. They do their job when required, and do it well. They don't fuss if something doesn't go their way, they don't complain if things get too hot or cold. They are perfectly capable of getting things done, and never once have they turned to me and said, "You know what? Things are getting just a bit over our heads. We need backup." They are, in my opinion, just fine according to my continued happiness and health.

Then you decided to just pop in for an unexpected visit. And not just one visit, I might add. No, you've made at least four surprise drop ins over the last few years. Each time you have brought aching and suffering. Each time you have ignored all hints, both subtle and otherwise, to stop being such a pain. Each time you refuse to acknowledge that you are neither needed, nor wanted. You seem to think that because "wisdom" is in your name, that your expertise is needed for any and all matters, whether they concern you or not. You also have a tendency to make all those directly around you uncomfortable, and the entire neighbourhood would be rather pleased to never see you again.

But no, you just don't seem to understand, and you've reappeared yet again. And this time, you've not only brought your usual degree of pain, but something more akin to torture. This agony that now resides in the lower right side of my face is most definitely your fault, and yet you don't seem to care. To make matters worse, you've decided it is no longer your responsibility to conform to the uniformity of the rest of your brethren. You believe it is your right to step out of line, to stand so close to the edge that you are wreaking havoc not only with the other teeth, but with that entire area of the neighbourhood.

This is no longer acceptable. You are long since overdue to be investigated. Your crimes against the other teeth and mouth will be examined closely. Prepare yourself to either fall in line with the others and cease this constant trouble-making, or to make a hasty retreat. Be warned: there is every possibility that you will be removed by force if necessary.

Sincerely,

The Mouth

Excuse me, Summer Time? I want my hour back.

I don't like this whole changing-the-clocks thing. I know, I know, I've said it to EVERYBODY who will listen, and several people who didn't. And now I'm saying it again. Because I still don't like it.

I guess I just don't think it makes any sense. In the winter, you wake up when it's dark and go to sleep when it's dark. In summer, you wake up when it's light and go to sleep when it's light. Is that one piddly hour going to make that big a difference? No, not really. So why take it away from us? Why deprive us of a whole hour of that wonderful, amazing thing called sleep?

Okay, okay, I know there clearly is - or was, at some point - a reason. I just don't know what it is, nor do I particularly want to know. I just want time to stay the same. Things would be ever much easier if we just didn't have to change the clocks any more. Less confusion, more sleep. Who's with me?

P.S. Whose idea was it to have different countries change their clocks several weeks apart? I don't know the logic of that, either!

I used to be a people person

It's amazing how a single job can turn you from a people person into a don't-speak-to-me-or-I'll-kill-you kind of person. In a very short time, I've managed to go from somebody who loves social interaction with strangers to someone who would much rather hide at home and only communicate with those people who have already proven they are awesome. And all because of a job where I have to interact with strangers on a daily basis, and deal with every little irritation with a smile on my face as if it doesn't bother me at all.

Many of us have jobs like this. Many of us are forced to pretend things are fine, even though really we'd rather remove each and every person who has ever annoyed us from the workplace. People who have had jobs like this, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. (People who haven't, damn you lucky sods.) It's those people that seem like they are intent on making your day difficult, whether they are actually trying or not.

It's the people who blithely ignore any and all signs that explain something, then complain when what they're doing - which just happens to be what the signs are FOR - isn't working. More often than not, it's working fine, and a tiny bit of reading on the enormous screen right in front of them could have prevented whatever problem they're having.

It's the people who either refuse to acknowledge you, making you feel as if you're talking to a wall, or act affronted if you dare to speak to them. Apparently some people believe that if they didn't specifically say anything to you, you are not allowed to say anything to them, and to do otherwise is unexpected and shocking. It's as if they think a human-shaped computer has suddenly become sentient, and it's insulting to them. (Oh, there's an idea. Can I bring Skynet to work with me?)

It's those people who think you are out to get them, even though you are only doing your job. In some cases, you're following the law. I don't care who you are, if I have to break the law to make you happy, you can stuff it. Go make somebody else's day a nightmare, I've had enough now.

There are more, oh so many more, examples. But I'm ranting again, and I've discovered that extended ranting doesn't help any more than a single rant does in de-stressing myself. To everyone who has had to deal with people like this and more, you have my sympathy, my empathy, and my hope that neither of us will be in this position much longer. To those who have not had to work under such conditions... Any vacancies where you work?

What makes a bad iOS game?

I've been playing a lot of iOS games lately. I've finally got my hands on my own shiny toy to play them on so I'm not constantly stealing the iStuffs off the other half, and have been cheerfully downloading plenty of games. Some I've paid for because I've played them before and already love them, others I've downloaded because they were free and looked interesting enough to invest some time in. I've had an awful lot of fun with it so far.

But obviously, as much fun as I've had, there have been a lot of moments of real frustration. Not a 1:1 ratio, but if I hadn't already grabbed a few games I knew I liked and was starting from scratch, it probably would be close to that, if not worse. It got me thinking about what made the good games different from the other ones, and what things I thought made the games worse and less likely to be played.

First of all, internet connection. I know you need an internet connection to buy and download apps, and that's completely logical. However, you should not need an internet connection to play a game you have already bought and/or downloaded. For example, Theme Park (EA) has this requirement. You can't even load the game up unless you are connected to the internet somehow. However, even in this day and age, people are not always going to be able to connect. This is especially true if you're travelling and don't have wi-fi or 3G access. It seems to me that forcing this - in my opinion - unnecessary element of the app will only alienate people who just want to play whenever they want.

Another thing is paying real money for additional content. Before I get anyone's back up, I have no problem with this being an extra option in a game - however, it should be exactly that. Extra option. As in, it is there if you want it, but is not required to complete portions of the game. Theme Park, I'm still looking at you. It is stated that certain things can be bought with real money if you choose. The problem, though, is that the game gives you a great number of tasks to complete - a good number of which require things that can only be readily acquired by spending your money on the "additional content". Yes, it is possible to eventually finish the tasks without doing so - but it will take hours, days, maybe weeks to accomplish something that could otherwise be done in seconds. I don't appreciate games that constantly shove their sales pitch in my face just to play basic functions in the game. (This is probably why Facebook games and I don't get along very well.)

Next: friends. This is common in Facebook games, and I've gotten used to it now (by just not playing Facebook games any more). In a game that's designed for social media, this is the norm. However, on an iOS game, where people are just as likely to be playing by themselves, this seems odd. I know I'm picking on Theme Park a lot in this post, but it bugs me that what could be a really good, fun game is ruined by these irritating problems. Theme Park also has tasks which instruct you to visit your friends' parks. Of course, these friends have to be registered with Origin, and you can invite them to join here! *Grrr* This really gets my back up. I should be able to play a game without having to nag everybody in my address book.

Moving on to my final point, which focuses on a different kind of game: RPGs. The whole point of an RPG, in my opinion, is to tell a story. It's not just about action, or puzzles, or combat. It's about the story, and how all the other elements of gameplay contribute to that. So if I start an RPG and the first three lines of dialogue have errors, or text speak, or are just plain badly written, I'm immediately jerked out of the flow of things. This may be a nitpick, but if you're making a game where the writing is going to be such an important element, please. Get. An. Editor. All the time and effort put into the rest of it will be wasted if nobody can stand to read the text.

Reading this back, it seems like a very negative post. I didn't mean to rant about the bad stuff, so I will make it up by writing a post on what makes a good iOS game. At some point. Soon-ish.