Dear Wisdom Tooth...

For the last twenty odd years of my life, I've had the teeth I needed. They do their job when required, and do it well. They don't fuss if something doesn't go their way, they don't complain if things get too hot or cold. They are perfectly capable of getting things done, and never once have they turned to me and said, "You know what? Things are getting just a bit over our heads. We need backup." They are, in my opinion, just fine according to my continued happiness and health.

Then you decided to just pop in for an unexpected visit. And not just one visit, I might add. No, you've made at least four surprise drop ins over the last few years. Each time you have brought aching and suffering. Each time you have ignored all hints, both subtle and otherwise, to stop being such a pain. Each time you refuse to acknowledge that you are neither needed, nor wanted. You seem to think that because "wisdom" is in your name, that your expertise is needed for any and all matters, whether they concern you or not. You also have a tendency to make all those directly around you uncomfortable, and the entire neighbourhood would be rather pleased to never see you again.

But no, you just don't seem to understand, and you've reappeared yet again. And this time, you've not only brought your usual degree of pain, but something more akin to torture. This agony that now resides in the lower right side of my face is most definitely your fault, and yet you don't seem to care. To make matters worse, you've decided it is no longer your responsibility to conform to the uniformity of the rest of your brethren. You believe it is your right to step out of line, to stand so close to the edge that you are wreaking havoc not only with the other teeth, but with that entire area of the neighbourhood.

This is no longer acceptable. You are long since overdue to be investigated. Your crimes against the other teeth and mouth will be examined closely. Prepare yourself to either fall in line with the others and cease this constant trouble-making, or to make a hasty retreat. Be warned: there is every possibility that you will be removed by force if necessary.

Sincerely,

The Mouth