The world according to Ratcat

My human has had a rough day, so I've kindly agreed to take over the world the blog. Only for today, of course, as I have a great deal of important things to do with my time. There are sofas that must be slept on, furry mice toys that must be chased, windows that must be stared through, world domination which must be planned. You know how it is.

Today I would like to discuss this word "ratcat". I'm not entirely impressed with such a poor excuse of a name for myself. I've tried multiple times to explain to my human that such a name is unsuitable for a future ruler, but she seems to take this as a cry for food instead of a request for a sensible discussion. (Not that I deny myself the food. After all, world domination cannot be carried out on an empty stomach.)

When it became clear that the language barrier was impeding progress on the issue, I decided a visual cue was in order. Every time the word "ratcat" was uttered in my hearing, I immediately flattened my ears, squinted my eyes, and gave the foulest, most murderous expression I could summon. Even this gentle hint of my discomfort was ignored. In fact, she seemed to find it amusing, of all things. Clearly humans are incapable of understanding both the subtle and the obvious.

I briefly considered a more physical approach. After all, I take great pride in my claws and teeth, and enjoy the opportunity to show them off, but previous experience tells me this will not solve the problem. I am left with little alternative but to grudgingly put up with the ridiculous-sounding "ratcat" until the pesky humans tire of it and search for something else they find entertaining. In the mean time, I shall quietly plot my revenge. It will sit quite nicely next to my master plan for the world.